yayy!

wowww 90% for anat ca 2!
God is indeed good(:
a million cheers to God!
lionel bengbeng says God is good all the time and all the time God is good!
amen:)
time to work hard for finals, so the CAs wont go to waste.
God give me strength!

pour toi, ma chere amie

all the tears that flowed last night
told me who i really am
taught me a lesson on humility
showed me the banes of judging
made me feel the hurt that i never felt before

each word exchanged
every emotion felt
struck my heart repeatedly like a thousand daggers

how did it come to this? i asked myself

then i realised we were no longer innocent teenagers, having fun, running along hotel corridors with jacket hoods screaming "raining!raining!", listening to neighbours with glass cups, figuring how many glasses will fill the whole wall, talking about morsels of biscuits, laughing horrendously about green farts, making mean poems about teachers who were all out against us, sitting aroung our rooms talking when we were supposed to be planning for some camps or events yet always managing to finish what had to be done, pushing office chairs outside temples, making the chanting action and singing the elephant song- and a 10 000 words essay couldn't fit everything we shared in it because many things cannot be put into words-

but instead we are growing up, learning new things each day, searching for our own lives, growing to be like God in our very own way.


so i guess the 5% was not so much of how i want it break, but more because some things that have been done cannot be undone,


some damage the hurt has caused cannot be healed,


some things that have changed cannot go back to the way they were before.

things will be different from now on, but how, i do not exactly know.

but i want you to know that i've never regretted a single moment that i shared with you,

'cause u brought friendship to a whole new level for me. you picked me up when i was in the deepest of valleys, told me who i am. you loved me the way no one loved me during those moments of my life, when friends and family were no where. u showed me true joy and happiness, and literally loved the unloved.you were my first true friend.

did you know that if u hadn't brought me to Him, i might not be here right now?
as much as i am important to you, you are so much more important to me.





and i still love you,









i always did,










and will always do.

j'ai appris...

learning more about myself as the days go by.
20 years, and i've grown.
grown to love people more,
learnt to think before i speak.
realising what is it that i love doing.
discovering the many beautiful things in life
appreciating the infinite glories of the Lord
challenging myself to make brave steps




and most importantly,
trying to be like You.



i miss korh:(

Who am I?

tired.

i feel so lost.
so distant.

so lost.
so distant.

why am i the one who has to face the questions?
why am i the one who has to face the crowd?
why am i the one who has to face the gossips and the stares,






when i don't even know you anymore?






thanks to the many who have left me behind,
to enjoy the joys and bliss of your new found lives,
while i face this cold and cruel world alone.



why can't i understand human beings?



maybe cos i don't understand You Lord.
why doesn't anyone understand the pain im going through?
is it because they are too happy
to realise that what they have i don't?

is it because all i want is a chance to talk with,
a second to look at
a moment to spend

but these i can't even have?



because im trying real hard and tearing myself to pieces just so i can submit to You;
jumping and stamping and pacing on the same spot not moving cuz im waiting for You;
praying and crying and trying hard to obey just so i will please You.



i really need to meditate.



please, give me some peace and quiet.

thank God for friends(=

last day of being year one!(:
had a really nice and fun lunch with becks and jojo today!i love my cf friends:) ended french oral at like 11.15 and so was the earliest @ arts canteen. i must say french oral went pretty well and it really helped that viv and i decided to face the chairs towards each other instead of facing jml:P well french 2 is officially over for me and i must say that it has been a truly fun and amazing time of learning! im sure looking forward to studying french 3 avec mes comarades de classe pendent le prochaine semestre!

well ok was walking to the drinks stall and met biq car & andrew so went to hang arnd with them until becks came! i think we are really a mad tutorial class haha was really fun and funny talking to my classmates! and carol was asking me (since im a sci student) if eating lotsa proteins will make the shit stink and andrew says that the body will stink too. and we were trying to push across our own versions and analogies of the 3 seconds rule (you know like if u drop your food on the floor or table if u pick it up b4 3 secs u can still eat it) and andrew was so agitated and he kept saying we were lying and car says there's a women who won the nobel prize for this analogy and andrew was bursting in laughter saying i pahgak with car to bluff him and so many times biq almost splurt out all the juice in her mouth. LOL really hilarious car says she will print out the article for us..

ok so when becks came the three of themn left and i had a really nice talk with becks! we decided to give jojo a nickname=jojo which becks says that he will really hate. and lionel bengbeng decided to be lazy and not come down to join us and he asked becky to tell me not to scold him-_- HELLO BENGBENG WHEN DID I EVER SCOLD YOU!!
*bish. and me and becks also think that we should get jojo some badages so he can wrap his brains just like mojojojo. jojo says that is a turban. LMAO!!!

and jojo came like at 1215 so late! i guess it's always very fun and interesting to talk over food, and we confirmed that jo's stoned face is by default:P the funniest thing that happened was when he was telling us about God's grace during one of his project's presentations, and he made a really UNNECESSARY comment about how the examiner thought that he=jo was very good-looking and whatnot so decided to give him full marks. oh my gawsh at that point me and becks just totally rolled our eyes and almost fell off our chairs LOL snrs really make me laugh!

and jojo is a really horrid personal trainer he encouraged becks to drink ICED TEA while i encouraged her to drink FRUIT JUICE(=

so aft another hour + of talking we went to sci! on the way to lab/ jojo on his way to lib benbeng caught up with us! and jason was there too so i went to lab with him. well lab today was not too bad got to see some really REALLY WEIRD and gross bacteria which were streaked from glen's armpit and yee wei's ear!!staphylococcus and epidermis strains most probably mais on n'est pas sur de rien! there was onli 2 mini bacteria colonies which i took from my hands (YAYY CLEAN HANDS(: ) and kim had b-hemolysis from 2 bacterial colonies. WAY COOL i wanted to steal the plates home but i cannot:\ ok some low quality but nonetheless memorable pics of my last microb prac!

gram pos!



lousy streaking technique no single colonies!

single bacterial colonies on blood agar

chemicalssss


biohazard waste!

pseudomonas aeruginosa


immersion oil for 100X magnification

gram staining

nutrient & sheeps blood agar

kim and the LM







i will never dare to make the first move






im afraid








just because love is such a sweet and sacred thing



it's times like this when i really want time to pass quickly
because only time will tell
and it's at times like these i really hope that God has a handphone and i can buzz Him so He can tell me what's He gonna do.





and i was reeeeaaaly happy when i saw you today(:


but i guess you'll never know

here i am to say that You're my God

on mon madame asked me if my co marks was really what it was
she even put a question mark on her marks list
cuz she was shocked that i got so so low
and then we realised that she marked wrongly!
and there were pple who did worse than me but she din say anything
wah i think she likes me, which is good
haha:p *ahem

LAF 2201 FINSIHED.
hello LAF 3201!
so exciting!can't wait(:

dinner at musu's house today was fun. talked to yw after that and she is really funny and crazy! i really enjoy talking to her and getting to know her better. i pray Lord that i will be a living testimony for her so that she may become more like You and learn to love You more.

and when i was about to go home at the gate there she became really high when we tried to use the hand sanitizer thingy. she just fell onto the floor and laughed like a mad girl cuz the thing could only sense her hands but didn't work when i tried to use it! and her laughter is totally like mine when we're trying to hide- just the scrunched up face without any sound coming out!LOL it was super hilarious.

im ponning sch tmr cuz ng's practical are not very helpful. and friday is OBSERVING BACTERIA DAYYYYY WHEEE im happy not because of that but because of sth else but what it is shall be kept a secret:)

lunch with becks and jojojoel too on friday @ arts!

looking forward to study week when i can just totally drown myself in my notes.

BUT GUESS WHAT i have to go back to school to hand in lab report and check my french exam results:\ so farr

who postulated the cause of anthrax

cheers to finishing mircrob ca
say hello to french exam and oral
shout for joy 'cos the exams are near

on the way to subway with biq ytd i greeted four friends @ arts canteen and ctrl lib walkway. that's really v coincidental!and biq said "WAH you very popular horh"

LOL im sure. that's the overstatement of the year.


lalala i'm a happy girl today(=
pam is trying hard to break free

pam thanks God for bringing new friends into her life
because they really add joy and fun to lectures & tests & super long labs
and she realises that christian friends are really easy to talk to because there is no facade nor fear
she is trying to get to know her new friends better each day
she wonders if these friends will be for life
she prays that they can walk together with God for the next 3 years in NUS, and hopefully remain lifelong friends:)

Corynebacterium hofmannii

240 slides of microbiology in five hours.
gawsh so tired:(

take a look at my hands

today the Lord reminded me of the burden in my heart,

the burden that He has made to be my passion.

and once again it reminds me of what i am studying for,

especially in this time of exams.

i made a prayer to Him,

asking Him to remind me of this burden,

and asking that He will be my fortress as i face the challenges it brings.

it has never been easy for me to accept that there are so many weak and poor people around me and yet do nothing about it.

it has never been easy for me to acknowledge that no matter how much i do for them, it will still be so little; i can never help everyone.

And even now i still know that it will never be easy,

and that's why i cried,

because i realised that..

You were my strength when i am weak
You are the treasure that i seek
You are my all in all

when i fall down You pick me up
when i am dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all

and i'm not walking this faith journey alone.

there's nothing my Lord cannot do

if He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders
i'm sure my brother that He, will carry you.

(:

won't You Lord

do You hear her crying?
do You hear her weep?
do You hear her screaming out to You in her sleep?

Lord i pray that You put joy in her heart
that small and young heart
that heart that belongs to You
Lord i pray that You take away sadness from it
i pray that You make it submissive
that You help her to learn to find peace and strength from You.

i pray that You give me strength
and wisdom from my mouth
so that i may help nurture this child too.

on eagle's wings

for four days, i looked forward to friday.
and today is sunday already:(

i love myself, i love my family, i love God,
i love my life(=


i feel so free like a bird flying in the blue sky:)

im so thankful i broke free from THAT valley of darkness

im so thankful that im free of all sadness and hatred and worries and evil thoughts and evil words and uncertainties

i choose to let time heal all wounds

especially THOSE wounds that keep reminding me of how i feel so used and worthless and dispensible and second-hand

THOSE wounds that told me i was needed there to comfort and to laugh and to company and to add live- but i found no one when i needed any of those

i'm soaring like an eagle

i feel so joyful, and i want it to stay this way forever:D

birds in the sky, sing their songs to You
trees in the fields, lift their arms to You
i want to sing
i want to lift my life to You

Proboscis Monkey

why is the penguin's front body white and it's back black?
silly group member gave a super HILARIOUSSS answer ask me if u want to find out!(:

today the children made me happy again, after a really looong and tiring week of pas assez sleep. the little boy says in a really reeeeeaaaaaaly sincere tone v animatedly to his friend:

"this is the scariest place i've ever been in my whole life." when we were at the zoo at this place where there were lotsa insect exhibits. oh my funny funny we all burst out laughing!=)





all the animals are so cute and beautiful.




thank you Lord for creating them(:
animals add joy to my life.

to see the marsupials

we're going to the zoo zoo zoo
now how about you you you
you can come too too too
i'm going to the ZOO ZOO ZOO(=

baywatch's hints are horrible. im not going to believe him again:(

happiness is a new beginning

im so very glad that God put joy in my heart today, in the midst of all the stress and terrible tests and term papers(:

was walking home along dover today behind this group of fmps children and i couldn't help but observe them being so cute and small, being reminded of when i was in the same pri sch too.

suddenly, the smallest cute boy made the *twist* sign with his fingers and started hopping and exclaimed: "wheeee!!" *hops hops* "tonight can go out!!whee!!" *hops hops* (the wheee was super cute because it was from a really very small boy)

friend: "go where?"
small boy: "collect spectacles!!"

MUAHAHAHHAA i tell u at this moment my solemn face just BROKE OUT into a big wide smile and i laughed out softly!!oh my goodness so cute how often do u see someone being so happy and excited because he can go out and collect spectacles?!?!

i give thanks for these children who brighten up my really stressful uni life=)adults really need to learn to be happy with simple things.

je sais pas

detourner des rivieres, porter des poids
traverser des mers, je saurais faire
defier des machines, narguer des lois
les foudres divines, ca m'effraie pas
j'sais prendre un coup, le rendre aussi
river des clous, ca j'ai appris
j'suis pas victime, j'suis pas colombe
et pour qu'on m'abime faut qu'je tombe
je sais les hivers, je sais le froid
mais la vie sans toi, je sais pas

je savais le silence depuis longtemps
j'en said la violence, son gout de sand
rouges coleres, sombres douleurs
je sais ces guerres, j'en ai pas peur
je sais me defendre, j'ai bien appris
on est pas des tendres par ici
je sais les hivers, je sais le froid
mais la vie sans toi, je sais pas

lutte apres lutte, pire apres pire
chaque minute. j'ai cru tenir
j'voudrais apprendre jour apres jour
mais qui commande a nos amours

je sais les hivers, je sais le froid
mais la vie sans toi, je sais pas