pour toi, ma chere amie

all the tears that flowed last night
told me who i really am
taught me a lesson on humility
showed me the banes of judging
made me feel the hurt that i never felt before

each word exchanged
every emotion felt
struck my heart repeatedly like a thousand daggers

how did it come to this? i asked myself

then i realised we were no longer innocent teenagers, having fun, running along hotel corridors with jacket hoods screaming "raining!raining!", listening to neighbours with glass cups, figuring how many glasses will fill the whole wall, talking about morsels of biscuits, laughing horrendously about green farts, making mean poems about teachers who were all out against us, sitting aroung our rooms talking when we were supposed to be planning for some camps or events yet always managing to finish what had to be done, pushing office chairs outside temples, making the chanting action and singing the elephant song- and a 10 000 words essay couldn't fit everything we shared in it because many things cannot be put into words-

but instead we are growing up, learning new things each day, searching for our own lives, growing to be like God in our very own way.


so i guess the 5% was not so much of how i want it break, but more because some things that have been done cannot be undone,


some damage the hurt has caused cannot be healed,


some things that have changed cannot go back to the way they were before.

things will be different from now on, but how, i do not exactly know.

but i want you to know that i've never regretted a single moment that i shared with you,

'cause u brought friendship to a whole new level for me. you picked me up when i was in the deepest of valleys, told me who i am. you loved me the way no one loved me during those moments of my life, when friends and family were no where. u showed me true joy and happiness, and literally loved the unloved.you were my first true friend.

did you know that if u hadn't brought me to Him, i might not be here right now?
as much as i am important to you, you are so much more important to me.





and i still love you,









i always did,










and will always do.