a moody day

today i went to school alone, and i matriculated.

sch is so very far, and the registration thing took like 30 secs.

and the security was tight i felt mean cuz i gave a i-am-not-trying-to-screw-things-up-let-me-into-the-room-now-my-friend-needs-my-matric-card-for-the-laptop face to the girl hiakhiak.

then mr wong kindly drove me back to school.

then i reluctantly went all the way to simei then to pasir ris for dinner.

and i don't like the way pple teach me to be selfish if others are selfish to me. i don't share answers cuz i dun believe that will help. it's not because im selfish. don't judge me, cuz i won't judge you. stop telling me how to live my life.

go away:'(

and today im really sad, cause i realise that i don't have any friends in LS.not like i have alot of friends anywhere else. but i just feel so tired having to restart.you know, like i was in this situation jsut 2 years ago, and the two years in jc din earn me many lifelong friends. and now it's restart back to being a freshie again get to know more pple again sigh i feel so drained. i need strength. i need chicken essence.

and i saw sec sch classmates. and it was just hi bye. ask me and i'll tell you our history.

the funnest part of the day was when i spinned the lucky draw wheel and won a 1gb thumb drive and tried to pretend that i spinned to $1000.

im so tired im so weary i need read and psyche up and self-motivate.

volleyball mentality. motivate.

goodbye.

i like my hair

i keep shopping:)

today i shopped for four hours and i got a 10ml bottle of eyedrop.

lunch was yummy subway! hmm i din realise it was that good cuz the last time i ate it was in sch like last year cannot rmbr! and that was when dw broke the news to me that HE IS GOING TO GET A CAR ZOMG im ur best friend im ur best friend please pick me please pick me and im sure he will lend it to me free of charge collect rent from other pple please and use the $ to treat me. hiakhiak super must tell me when u get ur car i wanna vandalise it too and claim insurance! oh and i realise that singapore's insurance got 3rd party coverage one so if i drive i can go crash abit of ur car:) rich la huhh my friend one house three cars your poor friend here still must top-up ez-link card count coins when no ez-link card run out of $ stand on bus when no seats

then we trooped to the bank to get dw's mastercard made and went to hunt for febreeze which didn't exist. psssst my hse here sells i can get for u next week if u want:)

and hello i super deserve to cut the ribbon on your take-down-triangle-plate-day because i almost got killed when you changed from lane 1 to small-pocket-on-the-left to stop hiakhiak blogging this makes it remembered:D eh we should plan a bash leh haha i think it'll be so silly and fun!

i want a car too. mazda 3 red or blue / honda city white/black

saw a few nice sandals today mum wasn't with me so i didn't bother trying.

went running today IM SO HAPPY i think i lost like 100 kg. self-fulfilling prophesy.

my aunts are all so hilarious.

matric tmr gotta travel so FAR to sch:(

i feel sad cause i dunnoe what to think. it's a pity that our friendships weren't meant to be. i sure will miss the times we spent tgt, those times that were full of joy and laughter. i remember the times when u were so innocent, the times when we did a million and one silly things together. but today, i stand on this side of the road and watch your lives on the other side...then suddenly, i realise that it seems as though im left behind, as though im still that good ol' girl. but you know what, im glad, cos i have decided to follow Jesus, and i know i'll never do what you did. i can't believe our lives have become so different. doesn't seem like i care right? but guess what, im writing this cos i thought of you.

im a girl with 3 friends i'll share my life with. thank God for all of you:)

cold day

today is a very cold day, and i am sneezing.

pop doh is yummy!daddy says it's nice too mummy don't wanna try it coz she already brushed her teeth.

cult today was good. walk and shop and try clothes and talk and steal cheesecake and drink and being irritated at others eavesdropping and talking louder so he can hear us no need to eavesdrop and then planning to go home then going to even more shops then predicting which stops had 175.

and both of you, the new cult song is so HORRIBLE!haha please dun add the last part it's abit unlike 19/20 year olds:) wow i sound so mature, just like how i tried to think im the number one da jie of max when actualli jia was the eldest:P

and i think max must be quite irritated at us esp when we keep saying he cannot hear and he HAD to say "pardon?" it's so...funny. but it's realli quite fun talking and luffing with him he pangseh or else can go shopping with nice us and give us a chance to get some presents and treats.muahaha:)

i miss my bro when i read his sms just now i felt like crying. gosh so emotional but yeah..it's fun to haf bro around the house to talk to irritate to be irritated to watch tv to share nice youtube videos to laugh at random things and to be the 2 children that keep going down to the shops to walk:):)TWO YEARS HURRY OVERRRRR!!

hmm my enormous bruise is becoming smaller.

more SHOPPING TMR MUAHAHHAHAHHAHA i need a bag and a sweater please please.

and guess what my shorts at espirit has a further discount i think WOOT happiness!

this week is packed like P-A-C-K-E-D. you know why? because it's the last day of my eight months long holiday ever since a levels ended!aaarghh can't believe i';ve not been to school for eight months. this hasn't happened since like TWELVE 12 YEARS AGO YOU KNOW OR NOT BEFORE PRI 1. wah must put this chapter of my life down in my life history book alrd.

and dw my golden friend where are you?!?!?!must meet up before my sch starts accckkk and FESTIVAL OF PRIASE is back in singapore next weekend leh! haha how was karaoke?:):)

resolution: go jogging tmr morning.

living by the promises in God's word

i love today:)

it's the kind of day when your heart flutters and your mind wonders because u think of spending the day alone without any must-dos


cos today was a sch's-startin'-soon-let's-relax-and-enjoy-the-world day for me so i tropped down to beach road with mummy to get army supplies for korh i bet you 100% the irritating uncle cheated my $. luckily alot of the stuff i wanted he dun haf the size so i went to the next shop and the pple were nicer. hello I SO TOTALLY SAID "GREY SINGLET" THE UNCLE WAS LIKE "HUH GREEN SINGLET NOW DON'T HAVE GREEN SINGLET ALL GREY ONE" wah piang oi i was so irritated cuz he like v hao lian liddat like he noes more abt army stuff then me WHATEVER LORH u win lorh u good not as if i said green singlet. hmph >:(

he totally tried to cheat me again when i asked for the black shorts HELLO i ask u for sth u give me the real goods la why must give me the imitation one? but luckily korh described it to me so i was like "aiyah don't want this(the imitation one)ONLY THEN did he take out thE REAL THING. bleaghhh so irritating i wonder how come i felt happy today.

so THE WHOLE WORLD EVEN THE NICE LADIES WERE TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO ME ABOUT THE STUFF THEY ARE USING IN ARMY NOW AND ABOUT HOW THEY ARE UPDATED(and therefore implying they are smarter than me) SO I SHOULD LISTEN TO THEM AND WHATEVER I SAID THEY DEBUNKED AND IM SURE THEY MUST ASK ME IF IM GOING INTO ARMY I JUST SAID "huh i so girly lorh". and then they kept quiet.

hello im not a recruit i was just helping my korh and just describing whatever i heard on the telephone and read on the sms to all of you. it wasn't very nice to talk to me in those ways u did as if i were living in the 60s or sth.

ok nvm then i headed off to taka while mummy headed home to work:( i saw this really nice puma blouse i wanted to get it but was too lazy to try it:P if i go there tmr i would try it! then on to kino where i spent like 2.5 hours finding good books. didn't find too many only found "if i am missing or dead", a true story abt a missing girl. before she left home she worte a note and taped it to the inside of her desk drawer. it read "if i am gone or dead, question Ron." turned out that ron's amy's boyfriend and he murdered her. amy and here sister grew up trapped in a cycle of abuse, had been sexualised, belittled...

sinister blurb.

and i got my readers' digest too! and it totally rocks cuz there was like a free copy of jan's edition which i missed!:)

lalala spending time at kino was fun i enjoyed it alot!it'd be great if they had like seats around i would have grabbed rowling's 5th,6th,7th book and read them cuz i think i stopped at 4 when i was in nygh:D

mum's off tmr time to go window shopping! i need a sch bag and sandals/flats/maryjanes.

AND THE BEST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN TMR IS THAT i have tuition at 5pm followed by combined worship and music ministry comm meeting at 7.30 pm korh's coming home in the evening!!!WAHOOOIIIEEY! i have decided to treat both of us to xiaolong bao on sat!

and im supposed to go to japan next week but because of some sch's lousy arrangement and lousy bi***ng system i have to stay in singapore.

how happy can i get.

painful

my shoulder is hurting.

cac capt ball today was quite disappointing, cuz i saw so many ugly sights.

but i saw sportsmanship and love in others too, and that made me happy!

and hello i got a bruise on my right arm it TOTALLY looks like a tatoo.

pat is back from france i shall bring her to buru reunion tmr:)

so tired. dinner was good.

blogging like that is fun.

goodbye.

i miss korhkorh

he will be home next fri:):):)

a trip to my new school

woke up super early today to make my way to nus for the qualifying english test. hmm din do much prep only did the sample paper, and i was super dreading the essay writing part:( took like forever to reach dover because practically all the roads were jammed with cars. today was like a trial run for me before sch starts:)

95 was loaded with students from all over the country a million of them passed by without stopping i was getting super frustrated cuz it was alrd 920 my test was 930! wah well done man i decided to take a cab despite having onli 3.50 in my wallet:( but 2 other pple came and asked if i wanted to share a cab with them OF COURSE i agreed la share burden leh so we managed to catch a cab which was, i tell u , ultra smelly- either the driver smoked in his cab with the windows up or his air refreshener is cigarette smell one.

in the cab i alrd wanted to pee but nvm cuz i was late i just went into the mpsh. the teacher there was so super attitude so unfriendly and bossy and nose up in the air. wah sey can dun like tt or not it's not very nice leh.

the paper was quite good i like the topic it's on legalising a market in human organs. i totally should have pwned it cuz i read a medical journal on organ transplantation BUT i forgot about it and i din have much time to think:( and the last 20 mins i almost died cuz i wanted to complete my paper first and then by the time i completed it's the 15mins-not-allowed-to-leave-hall alrd sian so bascially i almost died holding my pee.

and dannie was so lousy we were totally at diff ends of the sch!

AND THEN i realised the cool new way to make my way home/ to school via the nuh bridge to dover to take 74:):) so predicted time taken to go to sch:1.5 hours-.- to think my bus journey was onli a mere two minutes when i was studying in rj.

anyone wants to offer me a ride?hehe.

i seriously hope i dun have to take any eng modules.

where is my korh korh!

who wanna come rollerblading/cycling/chalet/hangout on 23rd monday?ask me and if i like you i will let u come:P haha pain n mich are by default invited!! silver friend i will invite you too but i know you have sch:) golden friend #3 u are of course by default invited as well but u have army!!!!GRRRRR >:(

i miss korhkorh.. :( army sucks.

edmund is really mad was bringing him arnd vivo the other day, and he kept telling me which girls are hot and which are not!super mean i just kept scolding him and he said "american's are like tt". haha WHATEVER! and we created a racket at the arcade eh i realise it's quite cheap like 50cents per token i tot it will be like 2$:)

haven seen him for like 2 years his hair is like afro! and he kept patting my head and pinching my cheeks and going "pam pam so cuuute!" LOL and he was teaching me how to do the american slang like "yo what's poppin" and dunnoe what and i was testing him on the singaporean slang like "lorh" and "leh" he's quite good at it!

im reallly hungry now but abstinence is the key.

songs of the sea

i'm hanging on to the memories.




aunt cynthia said this to me today:
"hey pam, when ur mummy goes to work full-time again, don't go into depression (contemplate suicide) again horh."

woah i totally din noe how to respond to that i just "orh okay."

don't worry now i have a God who loves me and 1 silver & 3 golden friends whom i love:)

through tears and joy,i'll trust

went to church today kinda heavy hearted.

glad tt the worship team was brought down the stage, was a very close feeling which was kinda nice la.

then i dunnoe why at the last song if i didn't rmbr wrongly it was my fav song-all i am- i just felt really afraid and fearful and sad i just started tearing. then when rev goh prayed for us, the tears just kept flowing too. it was during the sermon that i really felt God speaking to me. today is mission sunday and he was preaching a sermon about us being ambassadors of Christ...

and througout the sermon i was just feeling so sad because i really didn't know what to do. korh just went into army ytd and i feel really lost, suddenly there's no brother there for me to turn to. im so afraid that because of army, he would slide away from God. im so afraid that one day, the burden of my parents salvation would just all lie on my shoulders. im so afraid that one day, im the only christian in my family, and all my family members start moving further and further away from God. i was so afriad, that's why i cried.

cuz im struggling with this now, and i hope you'll pray with me. everytime i think of them i cry, cuz i love them so much and i dun wanna let them go. blesssed are those of you whose parents are christians. i pray that you'll treasure them and be grateful for the Lord has blessed you with parents whom you'll meet in heaven. but u noe i just totally feel like crying when i realise that i may not even have the chance to see them in heaven.

and when i was praying by myself after the whole service, i couldn't control my tears again. i kept praying for strength, and i believe that the Lord will give that to me.


and it's really worse to realise that there's no shoulder for me to cry on.

dinner at night with pain was realli cool i love xiaolongbao!and gelare was fantastic esp since we just kept sitting in diff positions and "evolving into the sleeping posture"! the seats were so comfy and hello holland v leh is couples place me n pain's first anniversary HAHAHA pls fareast alrd wu4 hui4 cannot let holland wu4 hui4 also!LOLLLL

then i found COLD ROCK helllloooo i walked in with pain and we saw how super cool it was i kinda regretted eating gelare since today's not tuesday:) EH DW we totally must go there and eat one day!!

you of little faith

ym trng was good. one thing i could really change about myself, is the way i judge others "spiritual maturity" by what they do & what they seem to do.

nice dw came all the way to tpcmc to fetch me!grr but watched hp before that i haven't watched leh!!>:(

went down to downtown east we took like 10 hours because of dw's bad driving skills and bad orientation everytime im in the car im reading the street directory! after lots of wrong turns and u-turns and curses from taxi drivers and believe me, NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES, we reached downtown east safely to catch the...

COSPLAY!

wow pretty cool i didn't think i'd ever be interested in this kinda thing but looking at the effort the cosplayers put into their costume, i was amazed! daryl looked really good with his tan and his super cool hair and costume, all the girls photographers were flocking to him:) i bet he was very shy but tried to put on a brave front:P even mw said daryl is a very shy guy! heehee

and it was really kinda funny when someone poses, cuz one person takes a pic then a thousand and one photographers flock to take pics too! so me and dw were trying to do random poses and competing who would get a photographer to take our pic first but knowing yours truly would win hands down, dw didn't want to pose!

and anw the tent smelt really bad like sweat mix with rubbish and food kind of smell when we realised we weren't thinkin it was smelly anymore it was time to get out. get what i mean? it's like when u immune alrd tt means it's bad cuz u're breathing in poison without knowing.

and after much heeing and hawing we decided to leave for dinner but the cosplayers being passionate for what they're doing decided to stay on for a l'l longer so both of us went for YUMMY DINNER at milennia walk! nice sweet generous kind friendly ME bought dinner HAHA im sure i must boast! but it's nth compared to the many times you've bought my tkts and all the treats!hehe:P

eh must go to outback and the shunfu dessert and go hunt for nice food again!

while i was showering, i closed my eyes and i felt giddy. can u believe it! this must say sth abt dw's driving skills! i tell you we almost got killed thrice today, got horned at like 6 times, got cursed at like 100 times, got stared at like 200 times

im looking foward to the triangle-plate-removing ceremony and my t-shirt which says "_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _'_ _ _ _" haha im leaving this empty so as not to kill the suspense for those who do not know what's gonna be on the shirt yet!

good day, great food, perfect company!
i know im the best.LOL jk:D

when it's all about You Jesus

i'm coming back to the heart of worship
when it's all about you, it's all about you Jesus

:)

back from vcffoc and i must say it was good!although i would remain friendless and loner (like mich) if it wassen for danny who was my buddy!!:)

kinda lazy to blog about the details.

but the best part has to be OF COURSE sitting with mich in the main hall discussing how to be CIs.HAHA too bad all of you will remain clueless until the *d***'s ***d* to being a SI is published. hey mich i think we should include a vcd tgt with the ***d*! but i must say we really went mad trying to think of things it was just so funny irritating and mad we totally lost it.

and it was fun being irritating during the night walk too because the snrs were really quite lame and nonsensical. esp during the whacking part my gosh joel is really very funny i just kept luffing while some decoy was being whacked i just dun care and keep making irritating comments aiyo i think they were prob making those wth faces at each other like what i would do if i got someone like me.

and thruout the night walk my GAWSH so many pple touched me i don't even noe if thery were girls or guys. GRR.

but the WORST PART had to be the ride home from sentosa to harbour front oh my my that was horrible i shant tok about it.

hmm dussen sound very interesting right NAT. haha and u waited to read this:P aiya i very lazy to think and blog la u buy ne b&j then i narrate the whole story to you:)

all in all i guess this is a really good start to uni life. getting to know fellow christians in school and in the same fac and majoring in the same thing. but i think it will take time before we will actually be able to share freely with one another, build strong rlsps with one another, and actively spread the good news to our fellow fac mates.

the bestest snrs i've met at the camp have got to be elaine & gary. was just spending a short time talking to them, and i feel their passion for the Lord. was really touched by what they shared with me, and i was glad i was there to hug elaine after her sharing:) both of them are really sincere and i love them! hope that i'll get to know them better in sch:D

now that sch's starting in 3 weeks, im kinda scared.

and to my dear golden friend there who is feeling down...
know that God has His plans for everything that happens, and believe that He will make all things beautiful in His time. you may have lost sth that was dear to your heart, but i know He has a perfect plan for you, and you must believe in that too. you know that i'm always here for you, and i've always been praying for your safety. i pray that the Lord give you strength to go on, and that through everything that happens you will learn to give up more and more for Him, and one day you'll realise that you wouldn't even mind giving up your life for him. i know you're strong in the face of trials, and i know He will carry you through. don't be sad yup, cuz when you're sad im also sad cuz i dunnoe what to do!:) jiayou all the way ok be strong:)i know army kinda sucks but it's gonna be over soon and my bro's going in this sat!:(

it's a happy day living for my God!

P-E-R-F-E-C-T!!

THE DIM SUM DOLLIES is a grrrreaaat musical i loooove it very very much!!!:):)

i can't describe to you how funny and entertaining and professional it was and the way they play with words and the jokes they make abt the zeng1 hu4 is so so so so SO hilarious i love them!!

im so gonna watch the dim sum dollies every time they perform again!!

THEY'RE SO GOOOOD I TELL YOU IT WAS REALLY REALLY REALLY VERY GOOD.

anw it had better be because my circle vip box seat cost ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS. hmm but after a survey, i think the 48$ one is also a very very good seat!:)

watching the dim sum dollies tonight reignited my passion for theatre and drama. not many people know my love for drama..i think only one person knows! but yup i have been thinking abt joining drama/theatre in uni for quite a long time, and i still haven really decided! but today's play has made me want to do it more!guess i have to find out more abt nustudios(i THINK this is a drama/theatre cca sounds like)

ANNNNNNNDDD emmay yong is a super good singer and performer! her confidence and her voice is super duper good!!!!

wah i really fall in love with plays n musicals alrd im on a quest to watch many many more!!

BUT rmbr all these need $$ and my pay from one mth one week ago hassen been given to me yet:(

eh good investment i think!

ok that's all im really happy today and i ate good mango salad from thai express new found treasure go try it!:):):)

does anybody hear her?

she is yearning
for shelter and affection
that she never found at home
she is searching
for a hero to ride in
to ride in and save the day
and in walks her prince charming
and he knows just what to say
momentary lapse of reason
and she gives herself away

blah

my feet are so very tired!

i've picked 5 ccas to join, but which one should i choose?

should i join the sci special programme?

im in an ababababa mood.

i bought a dress today from $85-$42!:)

my pay hasn't come yet i bet they closed down and ran away.

i hope i get into the LPP-SEP

ok goodbye im very tired.

much ado about nth

preparation, isolation, digestion, ligation, transformation, screening. i bet none of you remembered that.

and neither would i, if i hadn't been reading my molecular genetics notes.

my cheeks hurt i feel like slicing them off.

one more mth to uni..can't believe it. i hope within this mth i can go to:
malaysia
japan

HAHA me and tauhuay have a pefect plan since i didn't get my much wanted hostel:):)


I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cried
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you