Liberte

i feel free(=
and this is the feeling i want.
not to be bounded by things of this world,
but to be burdened by God's calling.

maybe it's all for the better,
that things stay this way for now,
that our friendship will continue to grow in and from Christ,
and not develop from lust or infatuation.
there's no longer this need to impress you,
nor do i need to wear a facade before you.
cause i see the real you
and you need to see the real me.

i'm feeling at peace now.











three years ago, at this very day, this very hour, the Lord sent His angel by your bed and called you. i know you felt the pain, the pain we felt too not long after. maybe a different type of pain..




but they all led to tears.


i remember being beside you and crying really badly. now that i think back, i wonder what made me cry so much. some people there asked me why i was feeling so sad..maybe it's because i once knew you, knew you to be the bestest friend of my brother, knew you to be the big brother that hung around..knew you to be someone in the pictures..




maybe it's because i saw a lifeless you and my heart was hurting so bad..





maybe because i saw a helpless you and my heart was hurting so bad..





every single time i see that image in my mind, i cry.



maybe i'm a really emotional girl.
or maybe i just feel alot for people.


for 12 days you fought, and for 12 days we prayed. often i ask God what made Him take you away. didn't He hear our prayers? i thought God is good?




and now i realise that standing here,



i will never see this masterpiece of Yours.