the ways You speak

was being a little irritated and saddened because of a series of unfortunate events. it's often at times like these when i look at You, wanting to cry out for You to give me what i want, what i so looked forward to. first it was my back, followed by my passion. then it was my dream that stayed with me since i was 15. and now when i harbour hope for sth so simple, You still took it away from me. sometimes i don't understand You, though i know no one can grasp Your infinite wisdom, nor fathom the depth of Your love. yet why, again, do i get the feeling that You don't love me as much as You did the first time i met You some four years ago?



but i know that some day, some time, i will look back at these and once again know that You were carrying me all this while.

and in the midst of thinking and reflecting and hee-ing and haw-ing i came upon this timely reminder from ODB:

"why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. what is your life?you are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. instead, you ought to say, "if it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."-james 4:14-15




but then again, it's at times like these when im at my weakest point to testify:'(