sorry i was wrong all these while.

to my dear friend, if you're reading this...

maybe i was wrong
maybe i shouldn't have left you alone
maybe i was selfish
maybe i was jealous
maybe i didn't realise that you made my days happy
maybe i never realised that you gave me strength
maybe i forgot that it was never your fault
maybe i was too proud to say that i am sorry
maybe i pushed all the blame to you and never did shoulder any
maybe i didn't put any effort while u tried so hard to hold on
maybe deep down i wanted to but i just didn't
maybe i treasured our friendship so much that i didn't know how to lose you
maybe i never knew that one day i will miss those times we had together
maybe i never thought of not laughing with you ever again
maybe i didn't realise what i was losing when i lost you.

but now,
i feel like crying
i feel like holding on to the drifting friendship
i feel like holding your hand once again
i feel like walking down the streets with you laughing and joyous
i feel like reliving the memories we had
i feel like taking mad pictures with you
i feel like "bringing out the worst" in you again
i feel like sitting with you just like when we were 17 year old girls
i feel like starting all over again...

but

i know it's hard and i don't know if i can.

i'm sorry i even left you there when i could have done more.
________

and to YOU#2:
i don't know what to say cause what i wanna say cannot be said here

"not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suferring produces perseverence; perseverence, character, and character, hope"-romans 5:3-4